Email Lemonade Blog

The Nicest Rejection Email Ever

8/14/2015

A few months ago, I inquired about an assistant professor position at a local college. It’s a role I’d been interested in, and it seemed like a good complement for Email Lemonade. Being considered was a long shot since I didn’t have the required doctoral degree, but since I had other respectable qualifications, I decided to go for it anyway.

The inevitable rejection email came last week – and surprisingly, it put a smile on my face. No, I’m not one of those people who enjoys pain. It’s just that this was the nicest rejection email I’d ever received. Why? Read on for the original email (used with permission, but identifying details removed) and then see why the bolded phrases make it so special. We can all learn from this email!

This email shows skillful use of the good/bad/good formula for breaking bad news (I’m a big fan), but let’s explore why the bolded phrases make this email extra special:

distinguished applications – including yours
Wow – he just said that my application was distinguished. Although I suspect what’s coming in the next sentence or two, he’s still given me a little ego boost.

we have completed our search with our new hire to begin this fall term
Notice that he doesn’t say I wasn’t selected. He just notes that someone else was. It’s a subtle distinction, but it’s less of a slap in the face than directly stating, “You were not selected for this position.” He takes the same approach in the next paragraph. Instead of getting personal by saying that other candidates were a better match, he generally states that they carefully reviewed each application to find the best match.

perhaps you might even consider our college for another position in the future.
The sentiments before this phrase are very nice, too, but this part was the icing on the cake. It’s as if he knows I might hold a grudge from the rejection, so he thoughtfully takes extra steps to show humility and respect. The words “perhaps” and “might even” are what really take the humility level up a notch.

Sometimes when we break bad news, we feel like we have to apologize. But notice that this gentleman never apologizes for not selecting me. (There’s no reason why he should.) However, I still came away from this rejection feeling intelligent and respected. Frankly, I wanted to buy the guy a beer.

Next time you have to let someone down, remember that showing respect – and letting the person save face – have a big impact on their perception of you and your organization. It might not seem like a big deal at the time, but the ripple effect could be bigger than you imagine. And who knows – maybe you’ll even get a beer out of it.

Do you disagree with my take on this email? Have another great example of how a rejection email made you feel good? If so, please share in the comments!

Bad email? Personality isn't an excuse.

6/11/2015

I love to take personality quizzes. Or just quizzes in general. (Yes, I’m geeky like that!) One that I recently re-took was the Myers-Briggs MBTI® assessment, and sure enough, I was still an ESTJ. Feedback from this particular version highlighted that for us ESTJs,

“Their desire to get things done may mean that they ignore the niceties, the softer issues, and they tend not to be so well tuned in to how other people are feeling.”

I’m not proud of it, but that statement rings true! Not that I want to be a jerk (really, I’m a friendly person), but if I’m not careful, I can come across as cold and unfeeling when focused on a task. Yet, in my professional life, I gained the reputation for being an extremely diplomatic, thoughtful email writer. Someone who could broach difficult topics and still not ruffle feathers. So what gives?

I’m aware of my natural tendency to ignore the “soft” stuff.
Because of #1, I work hard to address it because I know it affects my relationships. Especially in email, being blunt or overly direct can be perceived as rude – and that isn’t how I want to be perceived.
I recognize that email gives me the benefit of editing before I hit “send.” Instead of a blunt remark that might accidentally slip out of my mouth, I easily tweak or remove a harsh-sounding sentence from my email.

Why am I sharing this? Because you can take advantage of the same three steps to smooth out rough spots in your emails. Be aware of your natural tendencies and address the ones that harm your effectiveness by learning corrective techniques and editing your emails. Let’s be clear - I’m not advocating that you shy away from your personality. However, your tendency to be direct doesn’t give you license to be rude. Or just because you aren’t a linear thinker doesn’t mean you can’t try to present information in an organized way. For help smoothing out these areas, check out past posts on Tone and Organization (read the 2nd solution).

Once you are familiar with your natural tendencies (and if you aren’t already, now’s a great time to get feedback from your boss and some trusted coworkers), embrace continual improvement of your skills. What might seem unnatural at first will become second nature over time. Have a specific area you’d like covered? Leave a note in the comments or reach out to Cheryl@EmailLemonade.com to let me know how I can help!

The essential business skill everyone’s ignoring (but you don’t have to)

5/4/2015

It was a silly email incident in the office that first got me thinking, “Wait a second…email is such a critical communication skill that we use every day. Why don’t we get taught how to use it?" Since then, I’ve had countless conversations with business professionals about our lack of education in writing and managing email. When they first learn what I do (teach better email habits), I usually hear, “What a great idea! That’s SO needed! Let me tell you about [insert recent email horror story here].”

Yes, it seems almost everyone agrees that poor email skills are a problem. We all love to complain about it. And yet, the thought that we can—and should—do something about it usually isn’t on the radar until I bring it up.

A project manager at a Fortune 500 company told me he was working with one of his direct reports on communication skills. However, until I reached out to him to do research for my business, he hadn’t even thought about the written communication skills – like email. As we talked, I could practically see the giant lightbulb turn on over his head.

I also recently spoke with an HR professional at a Fortune 200 company. After raving about my business, she told me that email etiquette didn’t even come close to the radar when she and the company president discussed training courses. When I asked her why email wasn’t top of mind, she replied that, in essence, email was too specific. Too much of a niche in the communication spectrum.

I’ll admit, her comment bummed me out for a second. But then I remembered a few stats:

Business users, on average, send and receive 126 emails per day. We receive about 88 and send about 38 – and these numbers are only projected to go up. (Radicati Group)

We spend about 28% of our workday on email-related tasks. (McKinsey) If you work a 40-hour week (laughable, I know), that means you’re spending almost a day and a half each week just on email.

It takes an average of 64 seconds to recover from an email interruption. (Danwood Group) Imagine if 15 of those 88 emails you received were an interruption. That means you’re losing over 15 minutes a day just recovering from those distractions. Time totally wasted. Time you could have used to get a cup of coffee, come up with a brilliant idea, or read some articles on improving your email skills. The loss adds up.

For something that’s supposedly too specific, email sure is consuming a lot of our work day!

So here’s the secret – if you want an edge, then start focusing on your email skills. I’m telling you – it’s the thing in front of our faces that everyone is ignoring. Meanwhile, it’s a critical component of how you build your personal brand, get stuff done, and strengthen relationships in the office.

Not sure where to start? Read this. And if you agree, disagree, or have some perspective to share, please leave a note in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!

Get Rid of Email Overload...Once and for All?

4/13/2015

This is your week to get rid of email overload – once and for all! Sounds fantastic, right? Well, just like any other “sounds too good to be true” claim, there’s more to the story. Getting rid of email overload isn’t a single fight. It’s an ongoing battle. BUT, you can arm yourself with habits that significantly reduce the amount of emails you receive. They’ll put you in better shape for that long-term success, too. Here are your weapons:

Put communication guidelines in place. When people don’t know who to copy, they tend to copy everyone. And then reply all takes over, which means you just got 20 messages in your inbox that you don’t need. If there are certain people or teams you regularly communicate with, then plan a time to sit with them and map out who should be in the “To” and “Cc” fields for your most common topics. Write it down and make sure everyone has a copy. As new people come in to the team, make sure they have a copy, too. Yes, this takes some planning on the front end, but the daily time-savings will more than make up for it.

Send fewer emails. Remember that the more emails you put out there, the more emails are going to come back to you. Plus, let’s face it - certain topics or situations just aren’t good for email. They result in an unproductive flood of messages that weigh down both you and your coworkers. Before you start writing, ask yourself:

Will my message spark more questions than I can preemptively answer in my email? If so, you may be setting yourself up for an email deluge, especially if the message is to a group of people. Instead, try to actually talk things through with the person/group. You can always send a recap for documentation afterwards, if needed.
Is there confusion or a misunderstanding between me and the reader? If so, email often isn’t the best choice. Something simple could potentially be addressed, but a lot of times it’s much easier to have a quick conversation with the person. Plus, it’ll save you the time of writing a painstaking explanation that still potentially falls short.

If you regularly receive reports or newsletters that aren’t time sensitive, set up a rule so that they bypass your inbox. That way, you never have to take the extra step of seeing or handling them in your inbox. You can check them out when it makes sense for your schedule.

If you are on distribution lists that are no longer relevant, take a few minutes to unsubscribe. It may not seem like much, but every time you keep hitting “delete” for these messages, you are losing time that adds up. (Don’t believe me? A study by the Danwood Group found that it takes an average of 64 seconds to recover from an email interruption.) Make a 15-minute appointment with yourself every six months to do this kind of cleanup.

Our jobs evolve. People come and go. Given how much change we experience, it’s unrealistic to think that we can get rid of email overload once and for all. (So stop pressuring yourself already!) It’s an ongoing battle, but you can stay on the winning side by putting these habits in place.

Do you have a favorite tip for avoiding email overload? Share it in the comments!

An Email Lesson from My Local McDonald's

3/12/2015

I’m a fan of the McDonald’s southwest salad as a quick, healthy lunch, so I regularly go through the drive-thru at my local establishment. What’s even better than the salad, though, is the boost I get from the drive-thru attendants. Every single time they collect my money and hand over the food, they tell me, “We appreciate you!” They don’t rush through it or deliver the message in a monotone voice. Their appreciation really sounds genuine. Frankly, they could screw up my order and I wouldn’t mind because of how good they make me feel.

Maybe those three words – we appreciate you – don’t sound like a big deal, but can you remember the last time a coworker told you that you were appreciated? What about the last time you told your coworkers that you appreciated them? For many of us, these simple exchanges don’t occur nearly as often as they should. Verbally communicating appreciation is fantastic, but don’t forget about incorporating messages of appreciation into your emails, as well. Thanks to my local McDonald’s, here are three lessons to remember:

Telling someone that you appreciate him/her makes an impact. Whether it simply adds to the positive tone of your email, or it gives the person a much-needed boost during a crappy day, those words matter.
Once isn’t enough. Make appreciation a regular part of your communication. The wow-factor of hearing “We appreciate you!” in the drive-thru has never worn off, and it won’t wear off from your communication either. Just make sure you keep it genuine.
When you regularly make people feel good, they are more forgiving of your mistakes. There’s certainly a limit – all the goodwill in the world can’t make up for complete incompetence. However, the inevitable mistake here and there is less likely to do permanent damage to the relationship.

They are simple lessons, but they have a big impact. So get out there and tell your coworkers that you appreciate them (today – not later!). Thank them for the quick response, or tell them you appreciated getting the data in such an organized way. Express appreciation for both the big things and the little things. We don’t always see an immediate payoff – especially with email – but I promise that you’ll be making a difference.

From my standpoint, thank you for reading this post. Please know that I appreciate every set of eyes, every “like” or tweet, every comment, and every time you share my writing with others. And to the McDonald’s in Belmont, NC, I appreciate you, too!

For the record, no, this is not a paid endorsement of McDonald’s! My love for their southwest salad (w/ grilled chicken) is real, and so is the appreciation that they express every day to their customers in Belmont, NC.

Common Email Tips You DON’T Want to Follow

2/6/2015

There’s a lot of advice about email out there. Some of it’s helpful, some of it’s so-so, and some of it is downright problematic. I usually dismiss the latter, but then I realized that other people might actually be following it – to the detriment of their careers. Let’s set the record straight on some of these common tips:

Flawed advice: Only check email twice a day.
The problem: For many professionals, this suggestion is unrealistic. While you shouldn’t feel the need to read each email as soon as it arrives, if you only check your inbox twice a day, you may miss out on critical information to keep projects moving or be unaware that priorities have shifted.
The alternative: Check your email when it makes sense for your situation. Maybe that’s once an hour. Maybe it’s four times a day. It depends on your office environment and expectations. The key is that you are intentional about it. You have to instill the discipline to remember, “I am the master of my inbox – not the other way around.” Here are two simple tips that can help:

Jot down your day’s to-do list before checking your inbox in the morning. As new tasks come up during the day, having that concrete list will help you make better decisions about where they fall amongst your priorities.
Turn off the sounds and visual pop-ups that indicate a new message hit your inbox (phone included!). Otherwise, that urge to immediately see what’s new may take over, quickly making you feel like a human Ping-Pong® ball.

Flawed advice: Keep emails to five sentences or less, regardless of the recipient or subject. (http://five.sentenc.es/ and the like)
The problem: Keeping emails to five sentences is a worthy goal, but sometimes there are perfectly valid reasons for sending a longer one. Plus, if you have to sacrifice your email’s tone or leave out contextual details in order to be that concise, you aren’t doing yourself or your readers any favors.
The alternative: To keep your emails easy to follow and easy on the eyes, try these tips:

The purpose of the email should be clear within the first 1-2 sentences. Don’t make people wait until the end! For any subsequent paragraphs, start with the main idea and then go into the details. Use the closing to make next steps clear.
After you’ve drafted your email, look for words and phrases that can be shortened or eliminated without changing your meaning. For example, the phrase “in the event that” can be shorted to “if.
Stick to one thought per paragraph and use bulleted lists to make your content more digestible. People’s eyes glaze over when they see one ginormous block of text. Give them some white space and they’ll be much more likely to read the email.

Flawed advice: Stop using “Reply All.”
The problem: Although “Reply All” gets abused, it can actually be very helpful if you’re trying to maintain a specific distribution list. It saves time and ensures you don’t accidentally forget someone. If the people on the email are either engaged in or need to be aware of the conversation, then using “Reply All” is fine.
The alternative: Be mindful of when you use “Reply All” instead of automatically clicking it. You want to pay attention to who’s getting the email and ask yourself if they really need it. Sending a personal message to just one individual? Probably not a good time to use “Reply All.” You can check out my other tips to avoid “Reply All” evil here.

By now, you’ve probably noticed a pattern. Inflexible rules usually don’t work for email. We’d all love an easy, auto-pilot solution, but as long as we’re communicating with humans, it just isn’t that simple. Fortunately, we have amazing brains that can help us read the situation and make good decisions. Let’s use them!

Do you disagree? Have a tip you want to add? Please let me know in the comments!

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