Category: The Right Content

The Nicest Rejection Email Ever

8/14/2015

A few months ago, I inquired about an assistant professor position at a local college. It’s a role I’d been interested in, and it seemed like a good complement for Email Lemonade. Being considered was a long shot since I didn’t have the required doctoral degree, but since I had other respectable qualifications, I decided to go for it anyway.

The inevitable rejection email came last week – and surprisingly, it put a smile on my face. No, I’m not one of those people who enjoys pain. It’s just that this was the nicest rejection email I’d ever received. Why? Read on for the original email (used with permission, but identifying details removed) and then see why the bolded phrases make it so special. We can all learn from this email!

This email shows skillful use of the good/bad/good formula for breaking bad news (I’m a big fan), but let’s explore why the bolded phrases make this email extra special:

distinguished applications – including yours
Wow – he just said that my application was distinguished. Although I suspect what’s coming in the next sentence or two, he’s still given me a little ego boost.

we have completed our search with our new hire to begin this fall term
Notice that he doesn’t say I wasn’t selected. He just notes that someone else was. It’s a subtle distinction, but it’s less of a slap in the face than directly stating, “You were not selected for this position.” He takes the same approach in the next paragraph. Instead of getting personal by saying that other candidates were a better match, he generally states that they carefully reviewed each application to find the best match.

perhaps you might even consider our college for another position in the future.
The sentiments before this phrase are very nice, too, but this part was the icing on the cake. It’s as if he knows I might hold a grudge from the rejection, so he thoughtfully takes extra steps to show humility and respect. The words “perhaps” and “might even” are what really take the humility level up a notch.

Sometimes when we break bad news, we feel like we have to apologize. But notice that this gentleman never apologizes for not selecting me. (There’s no reason why he should.) However, I still came away from this rejection feeling intelligent and respected. Frankly, I wanted to buy the guy a beer.

Next time you have to let someone down, remember that showing respect – and letting the person save face – have a big impact on their perception of you and your organization. It might not seem like a big deal at the time, but the ripple effect could be bigger than you imagine. And who knows – maybe you’ll even get a beer out of it.

Do you disagree with my take on this email? Have another great example of how a rejection email made you feel good? If so, please share in the comments!

Bad email? Personality isn't an excuse.

6/11/2015

I love to take personality quizzes. Or just quizzes in general. (Yes, I’m geeky like that!) One that I recently re-took was the Myers-Briggs MBTI® assessment, and sure enough, I was still an ESTJ. Feedback from this particular version highlighted that for us ESTJs,

“Their desire to get things done may mean that they ignore the niceties, the softer issues, and they tend not to be so well tuned in to how other people are feeling.”

I’m not proud of it, but that statement rings true! Not that I want to be a jerk (really, I’m a friendly person), but if I’m not careful, I can come across as cold and unfeeling when focused on a task. Yet, in my professional life, I gained the reputation for being an extremely diplomatic, thoughtful email writer. Someone who could broach difficult topics and still not ruffle feathers. So what gives?

I’m aware of my natural tendency to ignore the “soft” stuff.
Because of #1, I work hard to address it because I know it affects my relationships. Especially in email, being blunt or overly direct can be perceived as rude – and that isn’t how I want to be perceived.
I recognize that email gives me the benefit of editing before I hit “send.” Instead of a blunt remark that might accidentally slip out of my mouth, I easily tweak or remove a harsh-sounding sentence from my email.

Why am I sharing this? Because you can take advantage of the same three steps to smooth out rough spots in your emails. Be aware of your natural tendencies and address the ones that harm your effectiveness by learning corrective techniques and editing your emails. Let’s be clear - I’m not advocating that you shy away from your personality. However, your tendency to be direct doesn’t give you license to be rude. Or just because you aren’t a linear thinker doesn’t mean you can’t try to present information in an organized way. For help smoothing out these areas, check out past posts on Tone and Organization (read the 2nd solution).

Once you are familiar with your natural tendencies (and if you aren’t already, now’s a great time to get feedback from your boss and some trusted coworkers), embrace continual improvement of your skills. What might seem unnatural at first will become second nature over time. Have a specific area you’d like covered? Leave a note in the comments or reach out to Cheryl@EmailLemonade.com to let me know how I can help!

An Email Lesson from My Local McDonald's

3/12/2015

I’m a fan of the McDonald’s southwest salad as a quick, healthy lunch, so I regularly go through the drive-thru at my local establishment. What’s even better than the salad, though, is the boost I get from the drive-thru attendants. Every single time they collect my money and hand over the food, they tell me, “We appreciate you!” They don’t rush through it or deliver the message in a monotone voice. Their appreciation really sounds genuine. Frankly, they could screw up my order and I wouldn’t mind because of how good they make me feel.

Maybe those three words – we appreciate you – don’t sound like a big deal, but can you remember the last time a coworker told you that you were appreciated? What about the last time you told your coworkers that you appreciated them? For many of us, these simple exchanges don’t occur nearly as often as they should. Verbally communicating appreciation is fantastic, but don’t forget about incorporating messages of appreciation into your emails, as well. Thanks to my local McDonald’s, here are three lessons to remember:

Telling someone that you appreciate him/her makes an impact. Whether it simply adds to the positive tone of your email, or it gives the person a much-needed boost during a crappy day, those words matter.
Once isn’t enough. Make appreciation a regular part of your communication. The wow-factor of hearing “We appreciate you!” in the drive-thru has never worn off, and it won’t wear off from your communication either. Just make sure you keep it genuine.
When you regularly make people feel good, they are more forgiving of your mistakes. There’s certainly a limit – all the goodwill in the world can’t make up for complete incompetence. However, the inevitable mistake here and there is less likely to do permanent damage to the relationship.

They are simple lessons, but they have a big impact. So get out there and tell your coworkers that you appreciate them (today – not later!). Thank them for the quick response, or tell them you appreciated getting the data in such an organized way. Express appreciation for both the big things and the little things. We don’t always see an immediate payoff – especially with email – but I promise that you’ll be making a difference.

From my standpoint, thank you for reading this post. Please know that I appreciate every set of eyes, every “like” or tweet, every comment, and every time you share my writing with others. And to the McDonald’s in Belmont, NC, I appreciate you, too!

For the record, no, this is not a paid endorsement of McDonald’s! My love for their southwest salad (w/ grilled chicken) is real, and so is the appreciation that they express every day to their customers in Belmont, NC.

Common Email Tips You DON’T Want to Follow

2/6/2015

There’s a lot of advice about email out there. Some of it’s helpful, some of it’s so-so, and some of it is downright problematic. I usually dismiss the latter, but then I realized that other people might actually be following it – to the detriment of their careers. Let’s set the record straight on some of these common tips:

Flawed advice: Only check email twice a day.
The problem: For many professionals, this suggestion is unrealistic. While you shouldn’t feel the need to read each email as soon as it arrives, if you only check your inbox twice a day, you may miss out on critical information to keep projects moving or be unaware that priorities have shifted.
The alternative: Check your email when it makes sense for your situation. Maybe that’s once an hour. Maybe it’s four times a day. It depends on your office environment and expectations. The key is that you are intentional about it. You have to instill the discipline to remember, “I am the master of my inbox – not the other way around.” Here are two simple tips that can help:

Jot down your day’s to-do list before checking your inbox in the morning. As new tasks come up during the day, having that concrete list will help you make better decisions about where they fall amongst your priorities.
Turn off the sounds and visual pop-ups that indicate a new message hit your inbox (phone included!). Otherwise, that urge to immediately see what’s new may take over, quickly making you feel like a human Ping-Pong® ball.

Flawed advice: Keep emails to five sentences or less, regardless of the recipient or subject. (http://five.sentenc.es/ and the like)
The problem: Keeping emails to five sentences is a worthy goal, but sometimes there are perfectly valid reasons for sending a longer one. Plus, if you have to sacrifice your email’s tone or leave out contextual details in order to be that concise, you aren’t doing yourself or your readers any favors.
The alternative: To keep your emails easy to follow and easy on the eyes, try these tips:

The purpose of the email should be clear within the first 1-2 sentences. Don’t make people wait until the end! For any subsequent paragraphs, start with the main idea and then go into the details. Use the closing to make next steps clear.
After you’ve drafted your email, look for words and phrases that can be shortened or eliminated without changing your meaning. For example, the phrase “in the event that” can be shorted to “if.
Stick to one thought per paragraph and use bulleted lists to make your content more digestible. People’s eyes glaze over when they see one ginormous block of text. Give them some white space and they’ll be much more likely to read the email.

Flawed advice: Stop using “Reply All.”
The problem: Although “Reply All” gets abused, it can actually be very helpful if you’re trying to maintain a specific distribution list. It saves time and ensures you don’t accidentally forget someone. If the people on the email are either engaged in or need to be aware of the conversation, then using “Reply All” is fine.
The alternative: Be mindful of when you use “Reply All” instead of automatically clicking it. You want to pay attention to who’s getting the email and ask yourself if they really need it. Sending a personal message to just one individual? Probably not a good time to use “Reply All.” You can check out my other tips to avoid “Reply All” evil here.

By now, you’ve probably noticed a pattern. Inflexible rules usually don’t work for email. We’d all love an easy, auto-pilot solution, but as long as we’re communicating with humans, it just isn’t that simple. Fortunately, we have amazing brains that can help us read the situation and make good decisions. Let’s use them!

Do you disagree? Have a tip you want to add? Please let me know in the comments!

You'll never forget another attachment!

1/5/2015

Isn’t it frustrating to forget an attachment? I know it’s a little thing, but somehow it still has the power to send pangs of embarrassment through us (or maybe that’s just me!). My very first job back in college was as manuscript coordinator for Six Sigma Forum Magazine. It almost exclusively involved sending emails with attachments back and forth. Of course, it wasn’t long before I hit “send” and oops! I had forgotten the attachment. It seems a little dramatic now, but at the time, I was horrified. I’m talking instant sweat beads. After quickly correcting my error, I resolved to never let it happen again. And it didn’t – as long as I used my new system.

We’ve all heard that the secret is in the sauce. Well, when it comes to email attachments, the secret is in the system. (Or if the word “system” sounds scary, just think of it as a routine.) The point is that as long as you always follow the same steps, you won’t forget the attachment. Here are two super simple systems you can start using today:

1. The pre-draft attach – Attach your documents before you start writing the email. A lot of times, we’re tempted to draft the email and then add the attachments, but that method makes it too easy to hit “send” without including them.

2. The word trigger – A colleague of mine shared that as soon as she’d write the word “attached” in her email, she’d pause and include the related attachment. That word was her trigger for ensuring the attachment always made it. This approach is great because the word “attached” or some variation should always be in your email if you’re including an attachment.

Easy, right? All you have to do is pick one and stick with it! And yes, there are software add-ons and other features built into Gmail or newer Outlook versions that can also remind you to include attachments. If that’s your cup of tea, go for it. However, I love that the systems above work regardless of your email client.

As for my system, I’ve been using the “pre-draft attach” ever since that embarrassing day in college, and it has served me well. On the rare occasion that I do forget an attachment, it’s only because I carelessly ignored the system. Thankfully, I don’t break out in sweat over it anymore. I just get a fresh appreciation for the value of the system.

Do you have a great system for remembering attachments? Don’t keep it to yourself! Please share it in the comments.

10 Ways to Know Your Emails Stink (and What to Do About It)

12/1/2014

Make sure YOU aren't the one sending an email lemon!

It’s easy to identify other people’s email lemons, but what about our own? Are we filling our coworkers’ inboxes with frustration? Here are 10 ways to find out (and correct the problem):

1.      You send emails without a subject line. Stop it. People need subject lines. It helps them prioritize their inbox and find messages later. Always make sure you have one – no exceptions. Keep them short (ideally 5 words or less), specific, and meaningful to both you and the reader.

2.      When you send simple requests via email, the recipient usually writes back with a bunch of questions. You aren’t giving the recipient enough context for the request. People like to know why they are being asked to do something. You also have to put yourself in their shoes by considering their knowledge level on the topic. What other details might they need to know in order to fulfill this request? What questions might they have? Preemptively addressing these details saves a lot of back and forth (a.k.a. distraction) later.

3.      When you send an email to a group, it results in an avalanche of emails. Either you didn’t give enough context (as described in #2) or you broached a topic that shouldn’t have ever been introduced by email. Not that meetings don’t have their pitfalls, but they can be a much better forum for kicking off new initiatives, discussing complex problems, or any other topic requiring a healthy exchange of dialogue.

4.      You regularly misspell the recipient’s name. If you’re this careless with his or her name, you’re probably careless with the rest of your email, too. Pay attention.

5.      Your emails consist of one long paragraph. Yes, this depends on how each person pulls up the email, but if your paragraphs are longer than five sentences, you’re probably in the danger zone. Don’t make your coworkers’ eyes glaze over…make sure you only have one thought per paragraph.

6.      You don’t tell people why you are writing to them…until the end of your email. Don’t make people wade through sentence after sentence – wondering where it’s all headed. Tell them why you are reaching out in the first sentence or two and then follow up with the details.

7.      You always use “reply all.” Just because you have the option doesn’t mean it’s always appropriate to use…in fact, it’s not. For example, don’t use “reply all” to send personal messages or to point out someone’s mistake. The key is to be thoughtful and intentional about where you are directing your message.

8.      Your emails have some sort of wallpaper or cutesy background effect. Get rid of it. You have plenty of opportunities to show your personality at work – this isn’t one of them. These effects are distracting to your reader. Plus, they often screw up the formatting of the whole email trail, which is super frustrating for anyone trying to respond to you.

9.      When you email a group of people, you have a hard time getting a response. Take a look at one of those emails. Did you direct it to a specific person, or did you send it to the whole group in hopes that someone would be proactive and respond? If it’s the latter, you’re setting yourself up for failure every time. Eliminate the ambiguity. Address your email to someone.

10.   You’re “too busy” to proofread. Reading over your email at least once before hitting “send” isn’t optional. It’s important to give yourself an opportunity to catch potentially embarrassing, confusing typos and grammatical errors, as well as make sure your finished work actually hangs together. (And did you include your attachments?)

Let’s be kind to our coworkers by minimizing the sour, frustrating “email lemons” we’re putting out there. This list is a great start in identifying our problem spots, so share it around the office and let me know what you’d like to add to it!

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