I love to take personality quizzes.  Or just quizzes in general.  (Yes, I’m geeky like that!)  One that I recently re-took was the Myers-Briggs MBTI® assessment, and sure enough, I was still an ESTJ.  Feedback from this particular version highlighted that for us ESTJs,

“Their desire to get things done may mean that they ignore the niceties, the softer issues, and they tend not to be so well tuned in to how other people are feeling.”

I’m not proud of it, but that statement rings true!  Not that I want to be a jerk (really, I’m a friendly person), but if I’m not careful, I can come across as cold and unfeeling when focused on a task.  Yet, in my professional life, I gained the reputation for being an extremely diplomatic, thoughtful email writer.  Someone who could broach difficult topics and still not ruffle feathers.  So what gives?

1. I’m aware of my natural tendency to ignore the “soft” stuff.
2. Because of #1, I work hard to address it because I know it affects my relationships.  Especially in email, being blunt or overly direct can be perceived as rude – and that isn’t how I want to be perceived.
3. I recognize that email gives me the benefit of editing before I hit “send.”  Instead of a blunt remark that might accidentally slip out of my mouth, I easily tweak or remove a harsh-sounding sentence from my email.
   

Why am I sharing this?  Because you can take advantage of the same three steps to smooth out rough spots in your emails.  Be aware of your natural tendencies and address the ones that harm your effectiveness by learning corrective techniques and editing your emails.  Let’s be clear - I’m not advocating that you shy away from your personality.  However, your tendency to be direct doesn’t give you license to be rude.  Or just because you aren’t a linear thinker doesn’t mean you can’t try to present information in an organized way.  For help smoothing out these areas, check out past posts on Tone and Organization (read the 2nd solution).

Once you are familiar with your natural tendencies (and if you aren’t already, now’s a great time to get feedback from your boss and some trusted coworkers), embrace continual improvement of your skills.  What might seem unnatural at first will become second nature over time.  Have a specific area you’d like covered?  Leave a note in the comments or reach out to Cheryl@EmailLemonade.com to let me know how I can help!

 

It was a silly email incident in the office that first got me thinking, “Wait a second…email is such a critical communication skill that we use every day.  Why don’t we get taught how to use it?"  Since then, I’ve had countless conversations with business professionals about our lack of education in writing and managing email.  When they first learn what I do (teach better email habits), I usually hear, “What a great idea! That’s SO needed! Let me tell you about [insert recent email horror story here].” 

Yes, it seems almost everyone agrees that poor email skills are a problem.  We all love to complain about it.  And yet, the thought that we can—and should—do something about it usually isn’t on the radar until I bring it up.

A project manager at a Fortune 500 company told me he was working with one of his direct reports on communication skills.  However, until I reached out to him to do research for my business, he hadn’t even thought about the written communication skills – like email.  As we talked, I could practically see the giant lightbulb turn on over his head.

I also recently spoke with an HR professional at a Fortune 200 company.  After raving about my business, she told me that email etiquette didn’t even come close to the radar when she and the company president discussed training courses.  When I asked her why email wasn’t top of mind, she replied that, in essence, email was too specific.  Too much of a niche in the communication spectrum.

I’ll admit, her comment bummed me out for a second.  But then I remembered a few stats:

• Business users, on average, send and receive 126 emails per day.  We receive about 88 and send about 38 – and these numbers are only projected to go up.  (Radicati Group)

• We spend about 28% of our workday on email-related tasks.  (McKinsey)  If you work a 40-hour week (laughable, I know), that means you’re spending almost a day and a half each week just on email.

• It takes an average of 64 seconds to recover from an email interruption. (Danwood Group)  Imagine if 15 of those 88 emails you received were an interruption.  That means you’re losing over 15 minutes a day just recovering from those distractions.  Time totally wasted.  Time you could have used to get a cup of coffee, come up with a brilliant idea, or read some articles on improving your email skills.  The loss adds up.
  

For something that’s supposedly too specific, email sure is consuming a lot of our work day!

So here’s the secret – if you want an edge, then start focusing on your email skills.  I’m telling you – it’s the thing in front of our faces that everyone is ignoring.  Meanwhile, it’s a critical component of how you build your personal brand, get stuff done, and strengthen relationships in the office. 

Not sure where to start?  Read this.  And if you agree, disagree, or have some perspective to share, please leave a note in the comments.  I’d love to hear from you!

Email is more than just email.  And if you work on a global team, the sooner you realize this truth, the better.  Beyond a simple exchange of information, it’s about building rapport, creating goodwill, and strengthening relationships.  After all, ignoring someone on another continent is much easier than ignoring someone down the hall.  It helps to give those international colleagues every reason to want to work with you.  Part 1 – Time Management and Part 2 - Clarity of this series are a great start, but if you don’t pay attention to your tone, you’ll only get so far.  That’s why I’m giving you three tone-helpers you’ll use every day:

When questioning content, avoid the word “you.”  It’s a tiny word with a huge impact.  Especially in written form, it sounds accusatory and immediately puts someone on the defensive.  Check out these examples and think about which version you’d rather receive:

The “You” Version:  Why did you write the report this way?
The Alternative:  Why was the report written this way?

The “You” Version:  I don’t understand why you reached out to her.
The Alternative:  Could you help me understand why she was contacted?

The “You” Version:  You made a mistake in the 2nd paragraph.
The Alternative:  There was a mistake in the 2nd paragraph.

If you’re like most people, you’d rather receive the alternative version.  Thankfully, there’s always a way to remove the “you,” so watch for those opportunities and you’ll maintain valuable goodwill.

When communicating even slightly unpleasant information, using the “good-bad-good” formula is the way to go.  There are real people on the other end of the “send” button, and you will get a lot further if you allow them to save face.  Here’s how to do it:

1.     Express appreciation and/or gratitude.
2.     Share the less pleasant news.
3.     End on a positive note by expressing your appreciation and/or gratitude again.

Simple examples of the good/bad/good formula in action:

Thanks so much for sharing these ideas.  Because of the tight timeline, we won’t be able to incorporate them into this project, but we will definitely consider them for the next one.  We really appreciate hearing your thoughts, so if anything else comes to mind, please don’t hesitate to be in touch.

I really appreciate your hard work on the brochure.  It looks great!  I only noticed one small issue – could the phone number please be adjusted to 555-223-7469?  Thanks for all your help!

It’s better to ask than to demand.  “Would you please send the report by Monday?” sounds much more pleasant than “Send the report by Monday.”  Both sentences convey the same information, but given the choice, most of us would rather be asked than told.  Start paying attention to how often you are making demands and see if you can’t turn more of those statements into questions.


In Part 1, I shared how I led a US-based team that worked with 20 other offices around the world.  We didn’t get to see people from the other offices very often, but on one of those few occasions, a team member from Australia thanked me.  Why?  He appreciated our emails!  He said they always showed that we cared about him and his team.  It was gratifying to hear that our email efforts had paid off.  A huge part of showing that we cared came from our tone – and the use of the tips I’ve shared here.

Never forget the human element of email.  Sometimes the distance of global teams makes it easier to overlook, but I assure you that there’s still a person with feelings on the other end.  Show them that you care by paying attention to your tone.  It makes more of an impact that you realize.

Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A:  One bite at a time.

When facing a big project, many of us learned this little lesson from a more experienced colleague.  It’s a lesson that comes to mind when I ponder the state of email frustration in the workplace.  How do we bring about big enough change?  What will it take for the masses to become more thoughtful, effective communicators?  It’s an elephant of a problem.  But here’s the key: each one of us is a bite.  We can all contribute toward a more positive email dynamic in the workplace – both through our own emails and through being a good influence on others.  (And for those of you with direct reports, you have an amazing opportunity to cause even greater change.)

There are lots of tips and tricks for writing good emails, but I believe that real change starts with adopting the right mindset.  Here’s your new mantra:

1.    We are all ambassadors.  When you send an email, you are representing yourself, your team, and your company.  Just like you wouldn’t show up to a state dinner in sweatpants, it’s critical to make sure your emails are “dressed” properly for each occasion. Being an ambassador is a serious responsibility, and you have to take pride in what you are putting into the world.

2.    Each email is a miniature goodwill mission.  Every email should work to build positive momentum and strengthen your relationship with the readers.  Whether you are responding to a request or moving your own agenda forward, you should handle it in a way that makes your readers feel good and lets them maintain their dignity.

When you adopt this mindset, if shifts your perspective.  Suddenly, you’ll start thinking about your email from the readers’ viewpoint.  You’ll make sure the tone is positive.  You’ll make sure the message is clear and easy to read.  You’ll make sure that your remarks are adding value instead of just another email to their inbox.  It becomes less about “you” and more about “we.”

We’ve accepted email drudgery as the norm, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  Imagine if every email you received were helpful. One more time – imagine if every email you received were helpful.

Let it sink in…

Think how much more positive the work environment would be.  Think about how much more you could accomplish – either personally or professionally.

Don’t settle for less!  Be an ambassador.  Set an example.  It’s starts with you.  And me.  Together, we just might change the world.

I recently caught up with two avid readers of The Fresh Squeeze blog.  While chatting about some recent posts (The Brain Dump being especially popular), they mentioned being more conscious – and stressed – about trying to send “perfect” emails.

I often have similar anxiety.  After all, if I teach email skills for a living, don’t all of my emails have to be “perfect?”

Thankfully, the answer is “no.”

What I told these readers (and remind myself) is that email perfection isn’t the ultimate goal.  Perfection is a tyrannical standard, and seeking it with our daily emails can even be counterproductive.  Although I’m a huge advocate of being thoughtful with our email habits, if we spend too much time agonizing over every message, we’ll never get anything done.

Instead, our goal is to establish a pattern of excellence.  It’s a balance of aiming for perfection but not beating ourselves up when mistakes happen.  When we establish a pattern of excellence:

1.    Most of our emails will be really good.  We’ll have a spot-on subject line, include the right people, write a solid message, and choose the appropriate level of responsiveness.

2.    We’ll nail it when the stakes are high.  Yeah, in these cases, it’s ok to agonize over the email.  Whether it’s establishing a new relationship or an important update to the boss, we do want the email to be perfect.  We’ll carefully craft every sentence and use the most stringent level of proofreading. 

3.    At some point we'll send an "email lemon," but our readers will cut us some slack.  Instead of silently cursing us, they’ll just assume we’re having a rough week.  Plus, because we’ve cultivated such good email habits, our lemons are more likely to be smaller issues like delayed responses or typos – not ugly, relationship-damaging mistakes.

So go ahead – shake off some of that stress.

Just don't forget that our emails are so much more than mundane office tasks.  They directly impact our effectiveness, our personal brands, and our relationships.  While absolute perfection isn't the goal, we also shouldn’t settle for anything less than a pattern of excellence.  Every email is a chance to be better, so start your pattern today!

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Remember being asked that question?  Depending on my age, I may have said I wanted to be a veterinarian, a lawyer, or an international businesswoman.  One answer I never gave?  A writer.  If you had given me the option of doing algebra all day or writing a two-page essay, I would have picked the algebra every time.  Yet, strangely enough, I did become a writer – and so did you.

The day we started using email on the job is the day we all became professional writers.  (After all, you’re spending a good chunk of your day writing while getting paid.)  Unfortunately, most of us don’t realize we’re writers because we think this designation only applies to people like journalists, novelists, or copywriters.  What we do isn’t writing…it’s just email.  Right?  Wrong!

Because we don’t think of ourselves as writers, we often don’t take our craft as seriously as a so-called “professional writer.”  We don’t train; we don’t pore over our words; we treat editing as a nice-to-have.  The result is that we wind up with a lot of email lemons out there – damaging, unproductive emails that waste time and hold us back.

I want you to change your mentality today – right now – and start recognizing yourself as a writer.  Recognition is only the first step, but once you’ve taken it, you’ve opened a door to greater productivity and stronger relationships.  Like any good writer, you’ll have to hone your skills, but fortunately, every email is a chance to be better.  If the typical inbox is any indication, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to practice!